Hello, my name is Dez! and I am an addict.
I am addicted to sugar.
I am addicted to shoppin'.
I am addicted to things that satisfy.
AND
I am addicted to green growy things.
I have not been clean for any length of time when it comes to green growy things and frankly, I am ok with that. Every chance I get and every extra dollar that lands in my pocket gets forked out ... straight into the hands of my suppliers. The habit is a tough one to break. The years of build-up, pent-up anger and heart attack causing stress have left their marks as empty holes in my heart and soul which, has lead me to care for things that should be left to rot or whither. Sorry to say but dogs are a whole other story.
I hit up the sales racks just jonesin' for a good dying plant deal. My clothes are from the junk stores because I cannot force myself to save money and buy things that would look good on me. Instead I wear dirty old jeans, raggedy old t-shirts and beat up old tennis shoes. My hair is always pulled back since I can't stand to get a hair cut on a regular basis to look appropriate in public.
But I am here to tell you that it's hard to watch some perfectly good plant be ripped out of the ground only to be tossed away or left to die. Watchin' the slow death of a plant just kills me a little on the inside. Especially if that plant is edible in anyway.
Yes, I am a plant addict.
I have been labeled our local Plant Amnesty.
Sometimes I am proud of my label and today is one of those days.
Had a little extra time on my hands after my first garden clean up and this is usually when I get into trouble. I was readin' through a new book that I found called The Backyard Homesteader ... about the herbs you can grow at home for makin' teas and what-not. Off I went straight to my local dealer. There I stocked up on lemon verbena, pineapple sage, and stevia. (Finally, sugar in a plant form and its on my deck!! Insert happy dance here!!) Other herbs such as: basil, catnip, spearmint, peppermint, orange peppermint, lavender, sage and rosemary already reside next to the front deck, happily planted and harvested all summer long for cookin' and for other medicinal purposes. I am set. Almost.
Really my addiction for green growy things is never satisfied.
There are just two ... no wait ... three plants that still need to come home and as soon as I can dig them up, salvage them from a garden, or save their little leaves and daisy like flowers from the compost bin then they will be mine. Chamomile, Echinacea and Jasmine, I await your presence with baited breath. (By the way this paragraph has been changed three times to get the right amount of plants in. See I have got it bad. I just keep thinkin' more, more, more!)
Everyday is rough. My mind spins out of control on the plants that will set me free from the bondage I feel from the grocery store. Yet one day I now deep in my heart I will be set free! I will be able to raise my middle finger to the ones that force us to buy lower grade fruits and veggies. I will proudly walk by those price gougin' stores and keep my dollars in my pocket so that I can spend them on seeds, starts, or trees. One day. One day.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Discipline.
The first time in my life that I really had to use discipline was the first 10 days after my first doctors appointment. True discipline was needed to get me through 10 gruelin' days of eating only four things for breakfast, lunch and dinner. My only options were rice, pears, sweet potatoes and wild meat.
(ok, ok, if you expand on the wild meat category than I had a few other options.) The meats included elk, venison, salmon and a few other random creatures from the sea.
Hummm ... how was this goin' to work and in how many ways could I cheat? How could I sneak in a few cookies? Pasta? or a big pot of mashed taters? The options and the cravin's were endless but the discipline that I pulled out was clearly not my own. Deep down I know where it came from and am thankful for the extra help. Funny how the mind will try to trick you into thinkin' that you can't survive with out chips, cake or better yet CUPCAKES!!!
Whinin' and cryin' commenced through those 10 days of only eatin' the four things. Once I figured out garlic and cinnamon were in the pills that I was taking to clean out my GI track - Voila! - fresh garlic was introduced. Cinnamon came in the next mornin' when I grilled my pears on the bbq and ate them over a bowl of rice. One can become very creative when stuck with only 4 things to eat. Readin' the labels of the meds from a natural-path can open up the whole herb world and bring back flavor!
Understandably, the body does get tired of eatin' a few things but it simplified what was for dinner and for 10 days I didn't hear the dreaded question "What"s for dinner?"
The days were long are hard, energy levels where super low and the headaches that came due to the sugar cravin's were like living through detox of some bad drug. The shakes kicked in and the naps were endless but I stuck to the plan. The headaches stopped a week into the process and the cravings for watermelon kicked in hard! Anythin' green actually! That was it I couldn't take it anymore. The naps were great and I had enjoyed giving every excuse for nappin' and gettin' away with it but there came a point when even I noticed it was too much.
I needed lettuce, carrots, celery!
I needed greens!!
This was not because I missed them oh, so much. My body was cravin' greens out of a life and death situation. Greens pronto! Greens stat!! Greens in an IV!!
This was the one and only time that I broke down and ate a salad. Turns out that was one of the greatest moves that my brain decided to make. The energy levels perked up and in four hours I had the entire house cleaned and laundry done. BUT as soon as the energy came on (doom, boom, doom) I crashed. Back to the couch I landed for a three hour nap.
When Dr. Mandy heard the story of the salad she ended up changin' my medicines around. Originally she had ordered a pre-natal that would boost my vitamin deficiency, which it did, but she handed me a huge bottle and said make a shake everyday with a scoop of this. (She was so cute at this point. She lit up and a shit eatin' grin came across her face as if she was a stranger handin' me a piece of candy!) Antioxidants!!! My new candy was in the form of blended pears, water, a scoop of this strange yellow powdery stuff, cinnamon and ice. Good thing it was the middle of summer.
Sticking to something for any length of time has really never been a "thing" for me. If somethin' didn't work then I would instantly move on. Switch gears. Move out of town. Get rid of everythin'.
Discipline this time was not an option.
To heal I needed to stick with my new found candy. This meant that I had to have a change. Not just a change in diet to lose weight. I was starin' down the barrel of a shot gun and had to make one of the biggest life changes ever. Scary? Hell yes! I had to suck it up. I needed to have such a moment in time to stop me in my tracks and start me over. My eatin' habits were not all that bad. They were just not right for my insides. Eating foods I have been allergic to all my life was killin' me. All the chemicals, hormones and preservatives was maintainin' life but it wasn't a life that was goin' to be long lived or well lived. My death was loomin' and was goin' to be before I was old and it was goin' to be painful. Guaranteed.
Discipline comes every day now. The candy shakes are a permanent addition. The decisions about food are calculated, thought out, and seriously examined. Each meal is a balancin' act of choosing to suffer from a headaches and belly aches to eating a clean well deserved balanced meal. More often then not I choose to do the right. I choose to eat what I am supposed to and now the life change has created a lifestyle change with the garden. I choose to eat at home rather than eat out. I choose to preserve my foods rather then waste it by tossing the left overs out.
Next up will be a big blood draw again in November to see what is missing from the trace minerals. This will help break down the sugars that are still recordin' at high levels. We hope. Once the results are back, and we can see what is missin', then we will know what to do to make sure that the garden soil will be perfect and that we get the nutrients we need from that outside metabolism that we call dirt.
(ok, ok, if you expand on the wild meat category than I had a few other options.) The meats included elk, venison, salmon and a few other random creatures from the sea.
Hummm ... how was this goin' to work and in how many ways could I cheat? How could I sneak in a few cookies? Pasta? or a big pot of mashed taters? The options and the cravin's were endless but the discipline that I pulled out was clearly not my own. Deep down I know where it came from and am thankful for the extra help. Funny how the mind will try to trick you into thinkin' that you can't survive with out chips, cake or better yet CUPCAKES!!!
Whinin' and cryin' commenced through those 10 days of only eatin' the four things. Once I figured out garlic and cinnamon were in the pills that I was taking to clean out my GI track - Voila! - fresh garlic was introduced. Cinnamon came in the next mornin' when I grilled my pears on the bbq and ate them over a bowl of rice. One can become very creative when stuck with only 4 things to eat. Readin' the labels of the meds from a natural-path can open up the whole herb world and bring back flavor!
Understandably, the body does get tired of eatin' a few things but it simplified what was for dinner and for 10 days I didn't hear the dreaded question "What"s for dinner?"
The days were long are hard, energy levels where super low and the headaches that came due to the sugar cravin's were like living through detox of some bad drug. The shakes kicked in and the naps were endless but I stuck to the plan. The headaches stopped a week into the process and the cravings for watermelon kicked in hard! Anythin' green actually! That was it I couldn't take it anymore. The naps were great and I had enjoyed giving every excuse for nappin' and gettin' away with it but there came a point when even I noticed it was too much.
I needed lettuce, carrots, celery!
I needed greens!!
This was not because I missed them oh, so much. My body was cravin' greens out of a life and death situation. Greens pronto! Greens stat!! Greens in an IV!!
This was the one and only time that I broke down and ate a salad. Turns out that was one of the greatest moves that my brain decided to make. The energy levels perked up and in four hours I had the entire house cleaned and laundry done. BUT as soon as the energy came on (doom, boom, doom) I crashed. Back to the couch I landed for a three hour nap.
When Dr. Mandy heard the story of the salad she ended up changin' my medicines around. Originally she had ordered a pre-natal that would boost my vitamin deficiency, which it did, but she handed me a huge bottle and said make a shake everyday with a scoop of this. (She was so cute at this point. She lit up and a shit eatin' grin came across her face as if she was a stranger handin' me a piece of candy!) Antioxidants!!! My new candy was in the form of blended pears, water, a scoop of this strange yellow powdery stuff, cinnamon and ice. Good thing it was the middle of summer.
Sticking to something for any length of time has really never been a "thing" for me. If somethin' didn't work then I would instantly move on. Switch gears. Move out of town. Get rid of everythin'.
Discipline this time was not an option.
To heal I needed to stick with my new found candy. This meant that I had to have a change. Not just a change in diet to lose weight. I was starin' down the barrel of a shot gun and had to make one of the biggest life changes ever. Scary? Hell yes! I had to suck it up. I needed to have such a moment in time to stop me in my tracks and start me over. My eatin' habits were not all that bad. They were just not right for my insides. Eating foods I have been allergic to all my life was killin' me. All the chemicals, hormones and preservatives was maintainin' life but it wasn't a life that was goin' to be long lived or well lived. My death was loomin' and was goin' to be before I was old and it was goin' to be painful. Guaranteed.
Discipline comes every day now. The candy shakes are a permanent addition. The decisions about food are calculated, thought out, and seriously examined. Each meal is a balancin' act of choosing to suffer from a headaches and belly aches to eating a clean well deserved balanced meal. More often then not I choose to do the right. I choose to eat what I am supposed to and now the life change has created a lifestyle change with the garden. I choose to eat at home rather than eat out. I choose to preserve my foods rather then waste it by tossing the left overs out.
Next up will be a big blood draw again in November to see what is missing from the trace minerals. This will help break down the sugars that are still recordin' at high levels. We hope. Once the results are back, and we can see what is missin', then we will know what to do to make sure that the garden soil will be perfect and that we get the nutrients we need from that outside metabolism that we call dirt.
Monday, July 14, 2014
Seeded in 2014
The root of all evil begins with rotten soil.
In June of 2013 I broke down and went to see a natural-path doctor.
Little did I know that life was goin' to take such a dramatic turn.
Little did I know that the 5 vials of blood that was drained from me was goin' to change my life forever.
Little did I know that I was allergic to so many things.
Little did I know that just a couple weeks later I was goin' to cry over the simple new reality that I would never eat pizza again.
Little did I know that I was literally killin' myself over food. I weighed in at 175 most of that body fat, part of that was frustration and a whole 'nother part was pent-up, build-up anger.
Rotten soil is the bases for everything evil in my book. After lookin' over the past few years and seein' that all I was doin' was tryin' to do was lose weight, tryin' to eat healthy, tryin' to be the best person I could, tryin' to maintain a marriage and tryin' to work out was only leadin' me in to one brick wall after another. Seriously. I needed a helmet but there was none to be found.
My body had turned into the dumping ground for preservatives, chemicals and sugar. My guts were rotting and my liver was closing up shop. My kidneys were hangin' on for dear life and my heart was pumping harder and faster Whylie Cayotie. My intestines were not the perfect picture of health and vitality with happy little condos ... oh no, they were happy little meth houses producing the best yeast in the neighborhood and sellin' that drug throughout my body, slowly decaying the best parts of me.
When I saw Dr. Mandy the first time it was an experience I will never forget. We became fast friends! She has a great nurturin' and healin' force behind that 5 foot stature that I could never have imagined in a single person. Care oozes from every pore in her body and this is exactly what my heart needed. What I was about to venture into scared the livin' daylights out of me, yet I knew it would be an adventure of a life time.
Drastic and dramatic changes have talkin' place and now I am goin' to write about all the things I have changed and learned and I will be tellin' the story through the Saucy Roots Garden. Seeded in 2014.
Gettin' saucy with the fountain girl.
I have included a couple pictures that were taken before the "Big Change". Fittin' since the pictures are from a trip to New Orleans after the "Big Storm". The top picture is sideways on purpose. See this is my thinkin', the way the picture is posted makes you work to see how fat I was by turnin' your head sideways and the bottom picture, well ... it is one of my favorite's from the trip.
My favorite address in the world.
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