Bigger Picture. Preserving the Harvest.

Food.

1. Buy it with thought
2. Cook it with care.
3. Serve just enough
4. Save what will keep.
5. Eat what would spoil
6. Home-grown is best.
Don't waste it.

Food for thoughts!

 

 

One of the biggest challenges that Saucy Roots has afforded me has been to seriously look at is the "bigger picture" what does that look like now, what does my future shaping up to look like, and what did I miss out on when looking in the past. One could stop and think about what life has been like, hell we can sit and look through the digital files of .jpegs that fill our computer hard drives of memories and flick through images upon images of tears and smiles gone by but there seems to be that emotional attachment that drives us to look back. A comfortable spot that looks almost the same as the couch we are sitting on to run through memory lane.

 

Some memories make a warm cozy feeling well up in our hearts such as a baby being born, the smell of that new skin and the smiles that little one puts on when he or she recognizes someone for the first or third time. Other memories traumatize our very souls because we were put in situations we know little about but leave us hurt in bigger ways then we can imagine.

 

Time, for some people, is measured by experiences and emotions felt. I admit I am one of those people. Photos can stir up memories of the past but the emotion will tie me to a disaster or two in no time. Experienceing an emotional disaster this morning as I type this. ( Gotta get it out one way or another. )

 

 

There tends to be a protective power force shield that wraps around each of us. I blamed it for a long time on the fact I was born under the astrological sign of Cancer and my crab shell was the safest place I could be and by gawd, no one was allowed into my shell.

 

Stay out! Beware!

 

The perfect signs that were stapled to the hard shell and that's the way I wanted it to be.

Leave me the frick alone.

 

When stuck behind this shell I had no idea the true vulnerability that this shell really had. When looking at a crab shell in real life they are seriously not that strong nor are they as thick as the creature thinks they are. This leaves the creature vulnerable but still fearless and willing to fight any battle that leaves them scared and afraid. Personally, I felt that my shell was so thick that nothing could ever penetrate and of course I was completely safe from the outside, thank you very much.

But the truth lies in the reality of the what made up that shell coating in the first place.

I can conjure up so many images and memories that trapped me inside my shell. There wasn't a balance of happy moments where I wouldn't need my protectiveness.

 

 

The biggest challenge it left me was a small vision of what life was. Trapped in the everyday activities of life or habits that kept me safe from straying outside the house, or my protective shell, when I would venture out. Looking at the "bigger picture" or plan for my life was not an option. NOR WAS IT IN MY RADAR SCREEN.

 

There was no direction, there was no purpose, there was no point.

It truly feels amazing today to be writing in a past tense.

 

Recently, I have been reading through books that talk about Soul Ties and what types of relationship are created when we  live behind a protective shell and a narrow point of view. Looking at was is created turns out to be a very mundane day to day life that rolls along in an unassuming way. Leaving no room for adventure or excitement unless it's very controlled and in a very safe place not only physical but mentally and emotionally. Sorry but this also leaves no room spiritually.

 

So what does the bigger picture look like? Is it as simple as planning out what to preserve from that garden and how much a family of three could eat within a month? Well, honestly I thought so! Transformation was the key to everything!

 

Change your mind! * Change your attitudes! * Change your habits!

 

These could be the biggest phrases any life coach can cheer about but it really isn't as simple of a change as laying out your dinner menu for the next month or the next week. It's even a little more complicated then laying out a food preservation plan for the entire year or what to stock up on in case SHTF!

 

 

Cases or cans of beans and rice can be calculated and measured for any number of people in a family for a single year or over multiple years. There are plenty of websites that have built in calculators to help you figure out the cost per weight per family member including whatever animals that reside in your care.
 

We are talkin about a preservation of the soul, the body and the heart of you and me. Figuring out the numbers and weights of rice or pasta to store under your house for the zombie attacks is grade school addition and subtraction compared to this!
 

Preserving the harvest from your garden can be looked at in a different way. It's the preservation of who we are meant to be as humans, what are purpose is and the whole point to our existence. When we plant a new seed we have big hopes that each seed will grow up, produce fruit, set out new seed and then die back to the ground when it's life cycle is complete. Yes, we have all heard this same analogy, I only rehash it to show you the same concept in a different light.
 

Our parents planted seeds, one of those seeds took roots and started to grow. We grew into living beings that roll through the predictable stages of life, high school graduation with the basics under our belts, college graduation with great jobs and money income for our futures, marriage to who we think is suited for our future mates, producing more fruit by having kids, helping the next generation grow into healthy plants just like we have done, setting seeds by our actions and decisions we have made then eventually coming to our end when we reach old age. See, our lives can be measured and weighed. We can be found lacking. But is there more?

 

We can plot our lives on a timeline.
We can measure our movements to the outcomes we have produced.
We can settle for our created lives that bring us satisfaction but leave us empty.

In the eyes of others around us our accomplishments can be on a scale set by where we live and the standards that have been set by others and their measure of perfection for us.

 

So .... how do we take that comment and show it in a different light of preserving the harvest for ourselves and future generations? When we are setting strategic outcomes based off what others say is perfection will we truly measure up to who we are meant to be a humans? We won't! We can't! It's impossible. Standards will always change, scales will always be tilted one way or another and we will constantly be chasing one dream after another in hopes of truly measuring up to the publics eye.

 

So what then ... we have come to a point in the conversation with our selves that looks a little like this. Do I maintain the stays quo or do I change? What does the bigger picture look like?  What do I have as a purpose? What truly is the point to my existence?

 

It's easy to follow the crowd to go along the timeline of life that everyone goes through and on some level every single person follows that timeline. Don't get me wrong, I know I am on that timeline myself and can see the scary half way mark right up head.

 

 

Life really didn't start happening until I started asking that question for myself. To many moments in life left me holding too many carpet bags of shit that were really heavy to carry nor where they really moments or emotions that I wanted to carry any more. My little crab shell of a house was filling up and the hoarder in me was overflowing with visual impact. Here I was thinking my two bedroom, one and a half bathroom was quiet and cozy perfectly built the way I wanted it.

 

2 bedrooms and one and a half baths all crammed into less then 1,000 square feet was and is very limiting. To some, living that small is perfect its freedom its a dream life!

 

Don't get me wrong I would give anything to downsize my physical life to less the 400 square feet and write all day being debt free, but my emotional life and baggage needed to hit the road in search of something else. So that's where my questioning started to reshape my entire life. Each space of the shell was perfectly designated for the specific task of each room and the walls instead of being lined with wall paper was lined from floor to ceiling with bags. Each bag had a label and I am not talking Coco Chanel or Louis Vitton types of labels ... I am talking single words that would perfectly described the contents of each bag. Shame. Lies. Addiction. Fear. Anxiety. Pressure.

 

 

Preserving the harvest of fear, anxiety and troubles left me with self-doubt and so  much hurt that every relationship that was created was seriously doomed from the beginning. Ugh. Some relationships were tied together with unhealthy needs. Just simple needs of love that really could not be found with the person that I had just tied myself to. That is really hard to say and yet even harder to type. Being such damaged goods ( in the eyes of everyone ) I could have easily looked like any homeless woman walking any major city streets with 17 shopping carts somehow tied together with black trash bags covering all my beautiful precious carpet bags. The carpet bags of emotions that I lugged around because they were precious and what made me who I am, even though it was all created from my own fear and ignorance.

 

Little did I know that I was more then that. My life was bigger then what I was seeing. but then again, I never wanted or imagined looking out from behind the shell to what was really out there and what I had been creating for so long. All that was built was solely built on fear, anxiety and the intoxication of never having or never being enough.

 

Where are you in the conversation with yourself? Leave a comment below. Would love to know where you are on your journey. Thanks!

To see or read more posts from Saucy Roots please head over to SaucyRoots.com! We do publish other posts that don't always make it to our Blogger page.

Dads. War. Lemon Jam.

We have all heard the statement before.

"When life gives you lemons you make lemonade."

Other statements we have heard sound like this: "When life gives you lemons squeeze them in your hair and go surf!" or "When life hands you lemons make Limoncello!" or this is always a good philosophy quote, "When life gives you lemons grab the tequila and call the girls!" BUT first we hit that emotional crap that says "When life hands you lemons ... squirt them in people eyes!" There is nothing more satisfing at times than a little evil thoughts that bring a little vengence. If we are not careful though those little thoughts turn into a fifth of tequila, a serious hangover and clothes strung out all over the place.  :)

The boyfriend and I were handed a couple of lemons in our life times, our fathers. Some times it seems like those lemons get carried around with us everywhere we go. Want to emphasis this. Evvverrrywheerre we goooo. (Insert eye roll here). This morning one of the lemons resurfaced in the realization that the boyfriends father now has a Facebook profile. Really all I could come up with for a text statement was ... eventually everyone will end up on Facebook. My father also has a profile but he never goes on the darns thing. It would make things a lot easier if he did since he likes to call and ask how things are going but if he would just look at my profile then things would be less cumbersome on the phone.

Just realized how awful that sounded when the best thing really is a personal touch instead of the digital world taking over our lives. In this case though it would make things easier. You can probably see the tension in the air even as you read this. The relationship hasn't been great. Here is a quick history: He left. Mom was pissed. My life crumbled. There enough said about that. So for years of course I had to hear about the evil things my father did or stood for, had to listen to my mom belly ache about everything. As a teenager going into high school the last thing I needed was a messed up relationship that was going to drag me from one state to another for summer or holiday vacations. Needless to say I was a hot mess. one letter was written by me to him informing him that for the time being it would be best to stay away. I couldn't handle the drama. There was a 10 pound lemon bag that was draggin my ass to the ground all the freakin' time. Little did I know at the time of the war that was raging ... not only inside of me but also around me.

Years went by and I finally figured out that the bag of lemons were getting a bit moldy and needed some serious attention. The little net bag had lost its paper label and the lemons were a bit sorry looking. Wasn't until recently that a solution to the lemon problem surfaced and a reasonable explanation could fix it all. Wasn't until a couple years ago that I was able to think clearly about the cure for this little lemon sack.

Thank God for His patience.
Yes, He waited.

Trust me, I had my fair share of tequila and girl nights. Honestly, the clothes never got strung all over the place but there were plenty of mornings that were rough. Now that the thinking cap has been screwed on a little straighter things are looking a little more clearly. I have gone through a divorce in my life, ok two, and I get the fact that it takes two to tango but really you are not just dealing with the other person and the other persons attitude or mood swings or the fact that he doesn't listen, doesn't care or whatever excuses you can come up with but you are also fighting those evil little bastards that were handed down all those generations ago. You also come with our own little demons that talk smack and they compete against your partner too, so don't think that you have the perfect package wrapped up in a bright bow! Those freaking little demons that sit on your shoulder daily, hell hourly and "help you make good decisions". Well my middle finger flies up to those little "helpers" They have helped enough. The war that they are raging is unfair and completely uncalled for. They may have preserved that 10 pound lemon sack for all these years but it is time for me to fix them up and figure out a better plan.

That I have. The plan has been set in motion. The plan to heal and to be free is under way and so has Project Lemon Sack. One can really only make so much lemonade before the enamel the teeth starts rotting away. So troubles have started to melt like lemon drops (minus the Vodka). My attitude at this point is SCREW keeping calm and sipping lemonade. It's high time to start squeezing the lemon juice right in the eyes of the "helpers"!!

My solution is to make lemon jam.
Yeah that will teach 'em.

Fumbling through a vintage recipe book the other day and found a quick simple paragraph describing how to make this yummy jam. (Humpf.) My initial thoughts after reading the instructions. You just need a little lemon juice, a pinch of lemon zest, equal amounts of weights for lemons and sugar oh yeah and don't forget to cook it on the stove for hours. Well that really doesn't work for most people so I have fixed the step-by-step process.

Ready?
You are going to get more then you bargained for when you keep reading.
Satisfaction guaranteed.

Now, I am a girl that likes substance. You know the pulp! I love the thick pulp in orange juice too! If you are not a pulp drinker then please by all means strain it out. For me the pulp is the susbstance that adds to the mix. It's the raw material that makes up the whole, it's the problem that needs the solution. It's the part of the whole package and needless to say I love a good challenge so in this case the pulp stays.

Grinding away at the peel of a lemon can get a little weird, reminds me of picking at the scab on your knee from falling down. You want to take it all off so that the bitterness comes out and the sweetness can get on with things. No one wants to hurt, no one wants to bleed and no once wants that sour bitterness to linger in their lives after there is no more need for it. Kinda like the rough peeling of the hardness of our hearts. We could gently peel the layers off like an onion or we could just go straight for the gusto and shred that crap off! So we can pick or in this case we shred the lemon peel for the zest. The recipe called for a pinch, remember? In this jam we will use the peel of four lemons. We will use the total of 8 lemons or if you so choose you could use 12, 16, 32, 89 whatever you want just make sure you double, triple or use the 10x rule when adding the sugar.

Find a pot and fill it with four, count them four cups of water.
One of the four basic ingredients to everything.
Water the life force behind everything.

The one wet substance that thrives to make our lives easier when it comes to washing out the bitterness to the lemon peel or the scrapes on our knees. Salt water maybe the cure for anything that ails us but for this purpose we will only use clean fresh water as the cleansing department for the rinds that we have shred.

Turn the stove on to medium so that the zest and the water have a chance to cook out that nasty bitterness. Let it simmer down while you work on the rest of the lemons. Those precious simmering moments are perfect for thinking. Mindless job of cutting up lemons, squeezing out the juice and separating out the seeds handed quiet moments to think about the time that has been lost because of carrying around this almost moldy 10 pound bag of lemons.

Squeezing the juice reminded me of the bag that was squeezing the life out of body. Separating the seeds out was a good reflection of separating good thoughts from the tough ones. Truth will set us free and thank goodness for the truth that has been coming out through the transformation of this 10 pound lemon bag. Those truth thoughts are the happy makers, the bliss makers.
Working with lemons is tough business. If you have a cut on your finger the juice gets in there and really burns! I kept rubbing my eyes and getting the juice ... well you know what I am saying. So here is my word of caution:
DON'T STICK YOUR FINGER IN YOUR EYE IF THERE IS LEMON JUICE PRESENT.

Back to the pulp or back the real business of fixing up this lemon mess that we were dealt with. We are now at the stage where we can squeeze the juice from the lemons that we just cut in half and that we just shredded the rinds off of. There are many ways to get the juice out. Please by all means use your favorite method. My method was a little unorthodox. I took one half of the lemon in my left hand held it firmly and and squeezed the first parts of the juices out. In my right hand I had my favorite butter knife, I than began to scrape the insides out to free more of the juice but really to get more of the substance out. Then returned the halves back to the cutting board (aka the counter) I sliced them thinly, you know MORE PULP!  Seeds were left to the counter. Must admit though some of them made it into the simmering juice. I did fish them out later.


One of the most impressive ways for me to go at problem is to go straight for the core of the issue. So what! Maybe I like cutting to the chase and using a butter knife is somewhat safe. Somewhat. Safer then a steak knife! My methods of juicing are not recommended in a commercial kitchen setting but hey, I would never be allowed in that type of setting anyways. "Scary!" as the boyfriend would say.

With the four other lemons that are still whole and sitting on the counter I turned to them and cut them in half. Every problem or situation that comes our way always has 8 different sides. Every aspect of our lives are touched. Our emotional health touches are physical well-being which in turn touches are spiritual side that then brings shame that bounces off of us and bothers our social sides. When one side gets left out then the issue really never gets resolved. For instance, my bag of lemons was handed over to me the day I was born. I didn't deserve it, nor did I want it, nor was I raising my hand endlessly, excitedly or beggin for them. The unfairness of it all.

My father passed on family secrets and troubles that he was unaware of and so did my mother. As a few of these "issues"  have been unearthed the healing has begun. The truth is beginning to be revealed and who I am as a person is starting to become more clear. The little "helper demons" are vanishing and the sweetness is beginning to be brought forward with the simmering of the bitterness. What has cause so much bitterness can actually be contributed to more then just my own actions. Do I dare blame my parents? Hell no! Do I blame their parents for passing on poor decision making? Hell no! Could I possibly blame my great, great grandparents for there actions and their part in this whole family torment!? Well that too would be a hell no! Could I blame Eve!? Ooooooooh, how I wish I could but even then the temptations of us all drive us to create our own sacks of lemons.


So I scrap. I scrape the inside of the peel to my hearts content. All the scrapings drop into the steaming pot of zest and water. Zest, juice, and water simmer a little longer trying to rid the pot of the last bit of bitterness.
I don't time anything. As for this project there was no stop clock there was no timer set and gawd forbid I reach over and clear the microwave to see the digital digits of when I started! The recipe did say to cook for a while, remember?

For me the process takes time. It takes the smell of the substance it takes the patience of the slow simmer to reveal the true sweetness. Admittedly, every issue that has come up in life has always boiled down to the slow simmer, the endless thoughts of the what if's or the hours of weed pulling to come to the perfect solution. Yes, it drives people crazy that I don't have an answer right away but for me its about listening. chewing, believing. Have I dreamt of having the perfect relationship with my dad? Well of course I have but the reality sits at this: we are simmering to perfection.


One of the greatest advantages to having 8 sides like a stop sign is this, friendship. We all need a little help now and then to get through the rough patches, to help us get through the sludge that we find ourselves knee deep in and a helper who will just sit and listen. The best ones are the ones that listen and don't talk. Some of the greatest artist, chefs, and structual engineers have people around to help them solve their problems whether it be struggling with the perfect color green for sea water, or the amount of salt to drop in a sauce or finding the perfect balance between water and waste on the ships ballast. Every time I am in the kitchen creating some sweet master piece or just plain dinner I always have my right hand guy!

Buck-roo has heard it all. He is the one black boy that will sit right in the middle of everything and just listen. Of course he likes to throw out his opinions on samples of what's cookin' but most of all during the hardest questions he stares back and just wants more lovin's. Really that is what it all boils down to. We all want more lovin's. We don't need the false help. We don't need the misguided trust of lies. We don't want the crap dished out from our great grandparents. We don't want the hate. We don't want the bitter bite of sourness. We just want love.

So we add the sugar.
2 cups of sugar to be exact.

OR 1 1/2 cups of sugar and half o' cup of honey.
Your choice. We prefer the honey.

While the mixture simmers down and the jammin' up begins we can clean out and sterlize the jars that we need to put the new jam into. Cleaning out the trash of our hearts, cleaning out the spiderwebs of anger, cleaning out he dust of mistrust and years of unbelief helps us understand that there is more to life. There is more to the saying "when troubles melt like lemon drops!" (Thank you IZ for the remake of that amazing song. I will always sing that line.) We can freely step up and sterlize our lives with that fresh clean water and fill our selves with a new sweet substance that everyone will appreciate.


Is this enough? Is 2 cups of sugar really enough? Yes, the magic within the natural pectin of the lemon, the juices and the water mixed with the sweetness of the sugar lovin's all become the perfect solution to the never ending history of problems. All sides of us can let go. We can taste the sweet and let go of the sour. We can enjoy the moments that we are able to create fresh and we can enjoy a little lemon jam on our cornbread. We can finally let go of the netted sack with the lost paper label that was tied around us. We can be free from the tormenting helpers and learn to love the way that were were intended to give loved.

Once the lemons have been mulled over, squeezed and simmered they make the sweetest jam. Most of all we can shelve those lemons for another day. We can share them with friends, we can eat them at feasting time, or we can sit back with our feet up and enjoy a tablespoon in our tea. Those lemons no longer have their hold on us and they no longer give off the bitter flavor that sours and clouds our minds or our hearts. Lemons can be like Garth says: "Some of Gods' greatest gifts are unanswered prayers" or in some defiant, arguable cases they become answered prayers.

So raise those sterilized jars in gratitude, bless the jam that is about to fill them, seal the sweet substance and let cool. Once the seals have popped closed you know that you are free to let go! Put them on a shelf and never look back but share the experience every time you crack open a new jar. Smile and reveal in the experience of growing you just never know who may need to learn from your story. Cheers!

New Dreams. New Desires. New Year.

Happy  New Dreams!
Happy New Days!
Happy New Desires!
Happy New Ways!
Happy New Year!
Happy New You!

Since we always believe that something new and wonderful is about to happen we never think that we are too old to set another resolution or to dream a new dream. We also know that tomorrow will never happen again. Yes, January 1, 2015 will never happen again.

So we lay out our resolutions and the things we want to achieve, drink less alcohol (starting right after this New Years Eve party), get a better education, get a better job or get fit by losing weight, quit smoking, save money, take a vacation, and reduce stress but we never live up to the resolutions that we set.

Because we look down the endless candle lit table of options and we see the bubbly bar staring us in the face and mocking our very first idea of a resolution. We second guess ourselves and quickly change our minds.

Ball drop cupcakes with sparklers bursting out the top scream and laugh at us and our thoughts of losing weight or getting fit  turn to "who cares, no one likes a skinny sober bitch anyways" or "you resolve your self to hang out with friends that are heavier then you" and gawd only knows what is lurking in the midnight take home bags.

So we change our thinking and our resolutions to: think positive, exercise daily, eat healthy, work hard, stay strong, worry less, dance more and be happy.

Ahhh ... yes the simple goals that we really don't have to actually achieve.
We make plans to collect memories in a jar to look at next New Years Eve and remember all the special moments that looked great at those moments in time but as we become introspective that turns us right back to self-improvement and the annual ritual of making New Years Resolutions.

You think to yourself this year will be different. This time you will write down your resolutions on a napkin and drop them in your purse so that you can remember what they are. Maybe you will go out and buy that cute little Anthropology Resolution Kit that you saw on Pinterest so that you can keep everything organized and cute.

There are so many things that sparkle on New Years Eve. New Years resolutions are just one of them and they offer you the first and perhaps the most important opportunity of:

Remaking yourself.
Redesigning yourself.
Reinventing yourself.

If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you need to do is to WAKE UP!! Stop hanging out with people who ask you what your New Years Resolutions are and start hanging out with people that truly look at their resolutions and accomplish every single one of them!

The guest list for your next Resolutions Party will look a little something like this. Mr. Mission Impossible. Ms. Plan Ahead. Professor Recover-From-My-Past. Miss Push-Through-Anything. Mr. & Mrs. Dream. The kid down the street that figured out how to do more with less. Mr. Extreme-Edge-Pusher and of course Aunty Communicate.

The object of having a "New Year" is not to should all over your self but to have a fresh start and a new chance to begin again. Once we figure out how to achieve those new found resolutions we will have a new outlook and we will certainly do more things effectively.

We will truly enjoy the confetti flying, we will be happy experiencing the fireworks at the stroke of midnight, and we will know that the little keys we have in our back pockets will not only open those big locks of opportunities but they will bring smiles that reflect our grateful attitudes for the things we learned.

And because we accomplished eating less and losing weight we can enjoy a New Year Cake pop on a stick and a fluted glass of the prettiest pink champagne from the flowing tower of Chataeu Rose.

We will have found a love and appreciation for ourselves that allowes our hearts to open and find that one true love that we can grow old with. Bursting with confidence we will be able to ask boldly for that kiss to start at 11:59 and go until 12:01 so that our old year will end right and the new start will have the perfect beginning.

Tick tock, Tick tock the hand strikes midnight and the pop, fizz and clinks we hear are the noises we will be hearing as we sing that old Scottish tune Auld Lang Syne. We will toast to the old friends of failure, disappointment, and excuse making ... they will be forgotten and to our new friends that enjoy sharing in the sweetness of success!

We will proudly open another journal with empty pages and fill the blankness with words of encouragement, people, and situations we are grateful for and the successes and achievements worthy of writing down.

We will have changed into the people we are meant to be. We will have discovered that we are the people that we always thought we could be and we will believe that there will never be, in the past or in the future, anybody that will be like us.

We know there really is no time limit we can grow or stay the same, there are no rules to this. We can make the worst of it or we will make the best of it, we will embrace the things that startle us and we will feel the feelings we have never felt before. We will enjoy new and different points of view and live lives that we will be proud of.

So lets toast to the new book we will call Opportunity and start by writing the first entry in indigo ink with the promise of filling each page with our own sweat, blood and tears.

With our glasses raised let me say this: My hope to you is that you have the determination, the strength and the audacity to make it through this year with resolutions achieved and ambition to start all over again. May your coming year be filled with hopes, dreams, magic and good madness and somewhere in the next year I hope you surprise yourself!

Happy brand spanking, sparkly covered, shiny, open new book with empty pages, full of promise, hopeful New Year!